Backfire
by sherlock1921
Summary: Ruth has someone in her life but it's not Harry
1. Chapter 1

Backfire

**Been trying to write fluff but it's just not working! This has just been pushing to be written so I have given in and I'll let it take me where it wants to go. Chapter Two written and rough notes for Three down. All mistakes are mine and mine alone!**

**I don't own anthing or anybody so I feel free to play about with the characters and time line as I see fit, but set early on not long after Ruth joined the team.**

"Well" said Danny sidling up to Fiona "It looks as though Operation Keep Harry Sweet needs some work"

Fiona looked up from her desk and the spread sheets that she couldn't make head nor tail of and raised an eyebrow in silent question.

"Well" ploughed on Danny not in the least put off

"Harry came back from his meeting in such a foul mood you could almost taste it in the air. I made some teas and suggested that Ruth take one into him. It was all going so well, you know she barges in, he looks up as though he's going to kill someone, sees it's Ruth, smiles and she ends up sat across from him chatting. He calms down. Win win situation. And I swear that I saw him smiling at her!"

"So there must be a point to all this somewhere" said Adam as he sat himself on Fiona's desk, his arm draped around her shoulder.

"Well"

"Can you not start a sentence without the word _well _Danny? Go on give it a try"interjected Fiona.

"Well" said Danny sticking his tongue out "It was all looking good but Ruth must have said something that he didn't like because she left the office smiling but after she closed the door he snapped a pencil in half and I swear he was going to throw something across his office. And he's been screaming down his phone at some poor sod for the last seven minutes. Mark my words it will be us next. We need to find out what she said and get her to put it right".

"And where is Ruth?" asked Adam.

"Gone over to Whitehall to deliver some papers and pick a few brains. Oh, and she said that she'd bring cake back with her." supplied Danny.

"Interesting" said Fiona "That means that she was quite content when she left his office...so she must have told him, asked him something that he didn't like."

As if to illustrate the point the man himself swept out of his office at that moment.

"Well what a cosy little scene this is" he sneered "Just like a nice little get together of the W.I. I am sure that the British taxpayer would be most gratified to see how seriously we take their safety. No Mr. Hunter don't get up. Far be it for me to disturb your little tete-a tête."

And with that he entered the nearest pod and disappeared from view still muttering under his breath.

The heavy silence was broken by Malcolm emerging from his little cubby hole to enquire

"What have you done to upset him now?"

"It wasn't us" the trio protested looking for all the world like naughty school children.

"If anyone's upset him it's Ruth, she was the last one to speak to him."

Malcolm sighed and looked at them as though he wanted to bash their heads together.

"When will you ever learn to leave well alone? This is not a game, just stop using Ruth to placate Harry...No good can come of it. It will all backfire on you in a spectacular fashion, mark my words! Just, just get on with some work. All of you!"

Meanwhile one of the objects of their speculation was lowering himself onto a bench situated on the Embankment. As far as he was concerned it was a good bench, it offered good views to the right and left and was not overlooked so it was possible to keep watch for anything unusual without it being too obvious. It was a place where he could gather his thoughts and calm himself.

As he settled himself against the backrest he played over in his mind his last conversation with his analyst. He had been in a foul mood when he'd returned from the latest unnecessary JIC meeting and was fantasising about the various methods that he could employ to do away with certain members of the committee. Ways that were inventive, painful but ultimately untraceable when Ruth had come unannounced through his door bearing a mug of tea. Looking up he said...

"You can go on courses you know."

"Courses? What courses are they Harry?"

"Oh quite simple ones really Miss Evershed. They teach you the ancient and noble art of knocking on doors. Shouldn't take you more than a couple of days to master it!"

She had smiled at him and placed the mug on his desk then made to leave and he found that he didn't want her to go. He wanted, no needed her company. He asked her to join him and she'd become flustered, explaining that she was busy with a file that she needed to understand before she headed off to Whitehall later that morning. He hadn't stopped to think but suggested she bring her tea and the file into his office and that they look at it together.

"Two heads are better than one Ruth. To coin a phrase."

She had smiled even wider then and he hoped that he saw pleasure at his suggestion in her eyes. Or maybe his inner voice said _Kidding yourself you old fool, kidding yourself!_

He'd been aware that he was attracted to her for a while. He had noticed her from the very first day when she had stumbled late and flustered into the meeting. He was going to say something to her that was cutting and sarcastic when he'd remembered the conversation he'd had about her with the head of H.R.

"Right Harry, I've managed to find you yet another analyst. It's bloody difficult because of your refusal to take part in the interview process but I think, no I am convinced that we've struck gold with this one. Just please try not to traumatise this one too much. Try to hang onto her long enough for her to find her feet and remember where her bloody desk is!"

He had been about to protest his innocence, to say that he had no idea what the man was talking about when Parsons carried on …...

"Don't even attempt to play the innocent with me Harry Pearce. You know damn well what I'm talking about. The last one lasted what forty eight hours? And the one before three weeks!. You can't keep doing this Harry: give this one a chance and I guarantee that you'll not be disappointed."

"Heard that one before" was all that he managed to say before the man carried on...

"She's brilliant Harry, she **will** be a great asset to your team if you give her a chance. She's a bit ditsy, but don't let that fool you. Just try and curb your temper and your tongue and see how it goes? Good man."

And so he'd found himself making some inane joke instead of giving her the ear bashing that would have been his normal reaction to her tardiness and clumsiness. And then she had had spoken the immortal words "Bugger the Home Office." And he'd decided that maybe it might be worth giving her a chance. As he got to know her better, began to see how well she fitted into his team, how her flashes of brilliance and insight contributed so much to their work he began to relax and allow her into the carefully constructed private space that he had built around himself.

And after a couple of months he started to realise that his interest in her was not purely professional, that he wanted more than a professional relationship with her. He tried to kid himself that he only wanted her friendship but he knew that was a lie.

She was very different from the women that usually piqued his interest and he had found it very hard to put his finger on just what it was that made him want her so much. She was beautiful, beautiful in an understated classy way made even more appealing because she didn't realise just how stunning she was. She had a brilliant mind and wasn't afraid to use it nor was she afraid to go toe to toe with him when she thought that he was wrong. She was a hard worker and was often the first one in in the morning and the last one to leave at night. Above all she was kind and loyal and it was obvious that she liked the people that she worked with, was willing to go the extra mile for them. Willing to put herself on the line for them.

He found the combination heady and exhilarating and for the first time in years he felt the need to fully possess a woman.

Of course he could have set. about seducing her, she was young and he surmised quite naïve. He could have turned on the full force of the famous Pearce charm and although he knew that it might have taken him some time he would have got her into his bed eventually. Then he could have shagged her senseless and got her out of his system. Would have scratched the itch so to speak. But the more he thought about it the more sure he was that that was not what he wanted to do.

Ruth Evershed was worth so much more than that. _**They **_ were worth so much more than that. He remembered quite forcefully the first time that he had thought of them as an _us._ He 'd been attending a formal meet and greet at No 10 for the new German Ambassador when he'd been approached by a woman. In a moment he had taken her in. Tall, blonde, attractive, mid forties, just the sort of women that usually ignited his interest and the look in her eyes said that she wanted him. It would have been oh so easy to take her to bed. To indulge in just another meaningless fuck. He liked sex he always had and God willing he always would but he found that he no longer wanted the act of sex to be just worthless gratification. He wanted to make love and he wanted to make love to Ruth. He still remembered the look of bewilderment and confusion on the woman's face when he walked away from her.

Between them they had made short work of the file and had soon moved on to discussing other topics some work related some not when Ruth had asked

"Can I ask you for some advice Harry. It's work related but not entirely."

And she had blushed in that wonderful way she had and he found himself wondering not for the first time if the whole of her body blushed and if she blushed during orgasm. If **he **could make her blush as he brought her to orgasm. Trying not to stare to closely at her he had nodded and she'd taken a deep breath before saying

"How far into a relationship do you think you should be before you fill in a S 24form Harry? It all seems so cold and clinical to me and as I think you know I'm a private person and it really irks me to think of someone looking at my private life."

He felt as though someone had stabbed him. Of course he should have seen it coming. She was young, she was clever, she was attractive it was inevitable that he would not be the only man in the world who noticed her.

He managed to pull himself together and calmly ask

"So Ruth a new man in your life? Where did you meet him?"

She had raised her eyebrows at the questions and he had quickly explained that he was trying to ascertain if the form needed to be filled in yet. After that she had been much more forth coming explaining that she had in fact re-meet him the last time she went home to Exeter. That she had bumped into some old school friends who'd invited her to a dinner party and rather than spend another uncomfortable evening in with her mother and step-father she had agreed to join them.

"And there he was Harry. Hugh Logan the object of many a school girl crush, including mine." she'd blushed again at that statement.

"He was two years above me. Tall, dark and just well, just gorgeous and of course very clever. The complete package in fact. No wonder he didn't notice little me. But like a lot of girls I worshipped him from afar. Silly really. Anyway he left to travel the world for a couple of years and by the time he came back to Exeter I'd finished sixth form and was at Oxford. He went on to study medicine at Edinburgh and now he's Senior Accident and Emergency Consultant at The Royal London. That's it in a nutshell really."

"And you're seeing him, dating I mean?"

God how old fashioned that question had sounded to him. Just emphasising how much older than her he was.

"Well, we exchanged phone numbers as you do. I never thought that I'd hear from him again but he rang me a couple of days later to invite me to dinner. And it was lovely. We've been out about half a dozen times now. You know the pictures, meals, a couple of social functions at the hospital. It's been fun Harry. It's been fun to be myself, not to worry about anything other than what I should wear."

"You like him?" he had asked knowing the answer but dreading the reply.

"Yes, yes I do Harry. It's nice, restful to be in the company of someone who doesn't inhabit our crazy, stressful world. It's good to be, well to be normal I suppose."

His stomach had clenched and he was positive that he felt his heart constrict as he looked at her upturned smiling face as she spoke about this man. She should have been looking like that when she was talking about him. He should have been the one who was able to give her so much pleasure. Breathing deeply and slipping his mask in place he replied

"Well Ruth, I think you and I both know that you are past the time when you needed to file an S24 don't we? Just fill it in, give it to me and I'll see to it that it is processed."

She had smiled at him then as though he had given her the most precious gift in the world. And to add insult to injury she had lightly touched his hand mumbling grateful thanks as she picked up their empty mugs and left his office.

And Harry Pearce man of action had just sat in his chair the touch of her hand burning on his and wondered what the bloody hell he was going to do about the whole sorry mess!

_**t.b.c.**_


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Ruth Evershed was happy. She couldn't quite believe that she was saying that to herself. She'd been seeing Hugh Logan for a couple of months now and it was going really well.

She'd filled in the S24 and placed it on Harry's desk and true to his word he had signed and returned it to her within forty eight hours. That weekend Hugh suggested that they take a picnic to Windsor Great Park and that seemed to her to be a great place to tell him about what she did for a living. It was a public place but there was very little chance of them being over-looked or over-heard.

They had just polished off the last fruit tarts and were laying back side by side on the car rug that they'd carried with them staring at the clouds scudding across the sky when Ruth had taken his hand in hers and said

"I need to tell you something Hugh".

He'd propped himself up on one elbow and smiled at her

"You're not going to tell me you're married with half a dozen kids are you?"

Well no" she had begun laughing.

"In that case nothing you tell me will make any difference to us. What we have is good, good for us both. It's early days I know but I can see a future, a long term future for us. So tell away Ruth."

In the end it had been easier than she had anticipated. He already knew that she'd worked at GCHQ so the step from there to Thames House hadn't seemed such an enormous leap. He'd listened intently not interrupting her once and she'd waited with bated breath to see what his reaction would be.

"So," he had said after a few long minutes"I've got myself my very own Jane Bond then? Can I expect to be shaken but not stirred on a regular basis? What a lucky boy I am!"

And with that he had pulled her on top of him whispering in her ear "Now which one of us is shaking Miss Evershed? Must be you because I think I'm definitely the one who's stirred!"

And that had been that. They'd discussed the implications in more detail over the coming days and Iain had been more than a little pissed off when she'd confessed that he had been the subject of an investigation by Five before she was allowed to carry on seeing him, but he'd soon got over that and the kissing and making up had been very nice.

Yes all in all things were going very well indeed. There was only one blot on the landscape as far as she could see. Harry...

She'd been warned by H.R that Harry Pearce was not an easy man. That he did not suffer fools gladly, that he ran a tight ship and so on and so forth. The metaphors rolling of the man's tongue smoothly and sleekly.

She had therefore been prepared for the worst but had in fact been pleasantly surprised by her new boss. When she'd made such a show of herself at their first meeting she'd braced herself for the onslaught that she was sure would follow. But to her surprise he'd made some inane joke followed by the most endearing muttley like laugh. And in that moment she'd decided that she liked him and that she would look forward to getting to know him better. As the weeks progressed she found her confidence growing both about her role within the team and her one to one interaction with Harry. She was gratified that he gave every appearance of valuing her opinion. That he sought her out at times to talk to her about things that were concerning him. That he seemed to feel relaxed in her company. Yes working for D was all that she had hoped for and more.

As she got to know the man she had become more and more aware of how attractive he was. He was not obviously drop dead gorgeous it was true, but there was something about him. He exuded power and confidence. He commanded a room with just a look and his voice! She was not sure if he was wholly aware of it but sometimes he seemed to use his voice as a weapon as he forged ahead pushing the arguments of others aside as he strove to make his point and ultimately get his own way. At other times especially when they were alone his voice dropped to almost a caressing whisper so that she had to strain to hear what he was saying. It was almost as though he was willing her to get as close to him as she possibly could. Willing her to invade his personal space, welcoming her into that space. But the times she loved his voice the most was when he suddenly appeared behind her as she sat at her desk and he dripped words like warm molasses into her ear so only she could hear what he was saying. It didn't matter what he was talking about, the traffic situation in central London, the latest intel from Iraq, telling her to go home, his voice made it seem so intimate so warm.

She could quite easily have lost herself in that voice, that body but she was no fool. She was an analyst and a bloody good one. She had read his record and was fully aware of his history with women, women who were the polar opposites to her. She thought it highly likely that Harry Pearce was just doing what Harry Pearce did. He had been playing the game for a long time and it came as second nature to him. No he wasn't interested in her in that way but she liked to think that they were forging some sort of friendship, friendship that would be based on mutual respect and regard. Friendship that had no place for attraction.

But since their conversation in his office he had been more distant from her. He was still unfailingly polite and professional. He still listened to what she said, he still seemed to value and at times act on her opinions and assessments but, the previous warmth in their relationship had cooled. No more playful exchanges when she barged into his office unannounced. No more cosy little chats, just the two of them. And his temper was at times off the scale. He had never been an easy man but now the slightest little thing seemed to set him off. And she'd not realised just how cutting he could be.

They'd been in the meeting room in the early evening yesterday, poor Malcolm had been attempting to explain to them the ramifications of a new piece of kit he was _test driving_. Unfortunately they were all starting to glaze over, shifting in their seats as Malcolm got more and more technical.

Ruth glanced at her watch worrying that she was going to be late for her date yet again. She still worked ridiculously long hours, was usually the first one in in the morning and unless she was seeing Iain she worked late at night but when she had a date she always tried to leave at a sensible time. National emergencies permitting of course. Her glance had obviously been seen by Harry as his voice cut through the room...

"Yes well Malcolm, thank you for that. I'm sure we all look forward to an update on the progress of your work at a later date. But it seems that tonight is not the time to go into it in more detail. It would seem that _**Ruth's**_ mind is elsewhere. Somewhere off the grid I hazard to guess. So if there's nothing else people shall we call it a night so those of you with more important plans and places to be can get off at a reasonable time? Yes? Good."

Standing he'd left the meeting room abruptly leaving his team not quite sure what had just happened.

Ruth looked at her colleagues in bewilderment. Adam shrugged his shoulders and said

"Don't mind him. Too many meetings and late nights that's all. Come on people you heard the man let's make the most of it while we can."

Sitting in his office nursing a large single malt Harry was more than aware that he had been in danger of crossing the line. Of making it clear to anyone with more than half a brain that he was more interested in the the personal and private life of his analyst than was proper.

The last few weeks had been to him akin to torture and he was a man well aware of torture and all it's many forms.

It had been bad enough when he just had the basic knowledge that Ruth was seeing the bloody man, that it was obvious to anyone with eyes to see that she was happy. Yeah gods!some mornings when she arrived for work she was almost glowing! He had taken to punishing himself by imagining what she had been doing to make her radiate happiness like that but that path was much to painful to venture down and he had quickly reined in his fevered imagination.

But of course her happiness had invaded the grid. Ruth was a popular and much loved member of the team and it was clear that they were all thrilled for her, after all it was what they all wanted. Someone to love and love them, someone who was not involved in the dirty world they inhabited but was willing to make allowances and to embrace them for who they would like to be.

When he'd found the S24 on his desk his first reaction was to stamp it **NOT APPROVED **and suffer the consequences. It had been only a fleeting thought but it had been very appealing, instead he passed it on with a note attached informing the investigating officer that he wanted Hugh Logan taken to pieces, that he wanted to know everything about the man and his history however insignificant it might first appear. He tried to tell himself that he was taking this course of action because he was protecting a valuable asset, an important member of his team but of course that was a lie. He wanted the man to be a …...Well to be anything that would make it possible for him to tell Ruth she couldn't carry on seeing him.

And then what he asked himself. As far as he was concerned the answer was glaringly obvious. Ruth would need a friend, a shoulder to cry on and he had two broad shoulders that she could make use of whenever she liked. He would be there for her, she would get over Hugh Logan and whilst she did he would just be there for her. Waiting, just waiting. He would carry on courting her, because he acknowledged in his own inept, clumsy way that was what he had been doing. Trying to show her who Harry Pearce really was, seeking for a way to make her care for him as much as he cared for her.

Courting a woman was not something that came naturally to Harry Pearce, it demanded that he gave more of himself than he was ever prepared to give. The last person that he had persuaded in that way had been Jane and then they had both been young and foolish. Had seen it as a game. He know knew that it wasn't a game it was deadly serious and he was rubbish at it! Oh he could get a woman into bed, could enjoy her and her body until he grew tired of her, until he moved onto the next conquest but when there was so much at state, when Ruth and his future with her was at state all his deepest insecurities and fears came to the surface and he found himself floundering like a fish out of water.

Of course when the report came back it painted the picture of a good and kind man. Everything that he was not! A man who could give his Ruth stability and balance in her life. He would be good for her.

No matter how hard he looked he could find nothing. Nothing criminal just an arrest during a student rag prank when he'd been chained to a street light with a collecting tin attached to the only article of clothing he was wearing which were a pair of French knickers. As to relationships, just a couple of long term liaisons which had ended by mutual agreement and the women involved had only good things to say about him. His professional life was just as exemplary, everyone agreed that he was a good doctor, the kind of man that you wanted on your side. And of course there was the unexpected revelation about his service to his country.

In short it seemed that the man was a bloody paragon! And so he had no choice but to give his approval and suffer the consequences.

On more than one occasion he had overheard snippets of conversation about dinner dates, what she was going to wear when she meet members of his firm at the hospital, how pleased her mother was that she had a steady boyfriend. And each time he heard these snippets it just twisted the knife a little deeper into his heart. And he had become more and more morose and bad tempered. Had cut himself off from the rest of the team, had stopped looking for any kind of friendship and affection from Ruth. He was sure that if she was kind to him it would break him once and for all.

When he finally looked out onto the grid it was empty. It seemed that everyone else in his team had somewhere to go, someone to be with. He had two choices, he could drink himself into a stupor here in his office which had become little more than a prison to him, because it was from this glass box that he watched the rest of his team interact, watched and envied the ease that they felt with each other. In the past he had accepted the barrier, welcomed it. Hidden behind it but now …... Or he could go home and at least give himself the option of dragging himself into his bed instead of collapsing on to the couch in his office.

He picked up his phone and called for his driver.

_** .**_


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

**This is taking on a life of it's own. I think I know where it's going but not 100% sure yet! As usual I own nothing and no one! I have written and re-written this chapter to death! Not happy that I have got down on paper what I have in my head but I feel that if I tweak it any more I will destroy it. If you read it please feel free to tell me how I could have made it better.**

The party at The George was in full swing and everyone was having a good time. Ruth and the girls were doing some slightly weird dance that they assured anyone who would listen they remembered , but as they all seemed to be dancing different steps nobody believed them. The men were either propping up the bar or sitting round the table putting the world to rights. Except that was for Danny. Mr. Hunter was busy trying to chat up one of the Sisters from Hugh's department at the Royal. He'd tried the little boy lost approach and when that didn't work he'd moved onto the man about town gambit. Still no luck, he was just working out what his next move should be when Hugh Logan put his arm around the younger man's shoulders and said …...

"Can I give you a bit of advice Danny. She'll eat you for breakfast will Sister Nightingale. I commend you young man for punching above your weight but she's a bit rich for you blood, don't you think?"

"Sister Nightingale?" said Danny "Please don't tell me her name is Florence."

"No Sarah, but her nickname is Flo."

Danny looked at the retreating back of the older woman and decided that maybe he was being overly ambitious and went off to get another drink.

Hugh Logan looked around the room trying to find Ruth. He was pleased that she'd agreed it would be a good thing for them to throw a little party before his posting and it was good that they could combine both their worlds together like this. After all he thought; people from his department spent all their working lives looking after and caring for people just like Ruth and her colleagues.

Hugh had been a member of the T.A. for many years and it had been and still was a very important part of his life. He'd achieved the rank of Lieutenant Colonel in the Royal Army Medical Corps and he thought it likely that this would be his last over-seas posting. He'd been both excited and wary when he'd received his orders. Excited because he liked the adrenalin rush ( working in a busy inner city A & E department was proof of that) but also anxious about how he was going to tell Ruth.

He thought back to their conversation

"Sit down love I've got something I need to say to you and I want you to think before you get upset because I can assure you that everything will be okay. I give you my word on that."

Ruth had looked at him with wide frightened eyes and he knew that this was not going to be easy.

"I knew it was to good to be true" she whispered "But please just let me down gently. I don't want to know who she is or that you want us to stay friends. I'll get my coat and go, I'll arrange for one of the boys to collect my things."

Hugh had crossed the room swiftly before she could even stand up from the chair she had been lounging in and wrapped her in his arms.

"Sssh" he said "Stop putting two and two together and making God knows what number. It's nothing like that Ruth. I've received notification that I'm to be sent overseas with the Corp. A tour of duty most likely my last one."

"Where to?"

"Afghanistan."

The word had hung in the room like an evil entity. They were both aware, very aware of the dangers that faced the troops posted to that part of the world. They both knew it was one of the most dangerous places on earth.

"You can't! They can't! You're not even a proper soldier" she'd blustered. You're a doctor and you're needed here. I'll get Harry to pull some strings, call in some favours and ..and..."

"I'm going Ruth precisely because I'm a doctor. The casualties out there need, deserve the best care that we can give them and I want to give it to them. And listen I'll be based in Camp Bastion, I'll be safe sweetheart I promise you, I'll be safe. I'm not going to take any unnecessary risks, I've got too much to lose now."

And so it was that they found themselves here: found themselves with a secret that only the two of them knew. Earlier that day they had been married. They had been talking about marriage for a while, both of them wanted children and Hugh was old fashioned enough to believe that children should be brought up in a stable home and to him that meant marriage. The posting had only spurred him on to do something about it sooner rather than later. They had talked and talked about it, but in the end Ruth agreed that they should be married before he was posted overseas and have a church blessing when he returned. So they'd had a small civil ceremony just for them and they would endure the full church thing for their families later.

Making his way to the bar he scanned the room again. He still wasn't here, not that that surprised him in the least. Arriving late after everyone else was part of the story that the _great _Harry Pearce wove around himself. Hugh Logan didn't like Harry Pearce, had no time for him at all in much the same way as Pearce disliked and dismissed him. Their first meeting had not been auspicious, it had been here at The George and on that occasion it had been Hugh who was late. He'd stood in the doorway sweeping the room trying to spot Ruth and her co-workers amongst the crowds that were packing the space. As the throng parted he spotted them at a table towards the back of the room. Ruth was sat talking to a blonde man who he surmised must be Adam and appeared to be engaged in a friendly if not heated argument. The rest of the group at the table were chatting amongst themselves casting the occasional amused glance at the two combatants.

Sitting two seats away from Ruth was and older man, a man who even from a distance exuded power and ruthless capability. This had to be Harry Pearce. The boss. As he watched the tableau unfolding before him Hugh began to feel uneasy, not because of the spirited but friendly exchanges between Ruth and the blonde man, no what was causing him to feel edgy was the way in which Pearce (if it was indeed him) was looking at Ruth. The man's eyes never left her, his gaze swept from her face to her hands which on occasion were gesticulating wildly as she argued her corner and then back up to her face. And in that gaze was raw longing and barely suppressed passion.

At that point Ruth had spotted him, she stood and pushing her way through, grasped his hand, kissed him on the cheek and pulled him over to meet her friends. He had felt immediately welcome into the little group, it was clear that they were all very fond of his Ruth, that they were delighted that she was happy. Yes everything was going nicely until _**he**_ returned to the table. Hugh had not noticed him leave the group in the time it had taken Ruth to cross the floor and guide him to her friends and he had been too busy growing accustomed to names and faces to miss his presence until Ruth said

"And this is Harry, Hugh, Harry my boss. Harry, Hugh my fella."

The two men had held out their hands, all the time sizing each other up. They were both alpha males, both used to getting their own way, both used to being the centre of their particular kingdoms. Hugh was taller than Pearce, but not as well built and Pearce seemed to fill the space that he occupied, to exude a raw animal power that belayed his stature. It was in those first few moments that their relationship was classified as _hostile._

The rest of the evening passed pleasantly enough, lots of chatter and not a few good natured arguments. The youth of the people who worked with Ruth surprised him, he had not realised that men and women so young could be responsible for the protection and safety of so many.

Towards the end of the night he found himself talking to Malcolm, Hugh found that he really warmed to the older man, he seemed to be a gentle soul, out of place in the somewhat dark world that he imagined Ruth and her colleagues inhabited, but the more he chatted to him the more he came to understand that in his own way Malcolm was an integral part of the team, that he was a very perceptive man. He proved this point when he said out of the blue...

"Don't pay any attention to Harry. He can come across as a bit fierce I know,but he's not as bad as he makes out he is. Give him a chance, he really cares about his team. Everyone of them. He takes his responsibilities very much to heart."

"Yes, well Malcolm I don't think that we are ever going to be bosom buddies, and I think that you are astute enough to know why. Ruth has never said anything, do you think that she knows about his feelings for her?"

"Oh, you spotted that did you, of course you did. No Ruth has no idea and nor does anyone else old man. Rest assured, he won't do anything about it. It's not in his nature, if he'd been going to act on his feelings he would have done so by now. Just a word a to the wise though, don't hurt her

because..."

And here his voice had trailed off.

All subsequent meetings of the two men had followed the same pattern, they had been painfully polite towards each other, had avoided spending any alone time together at all costs. Hugh had made a point of always being as tactile as possible with Ruth and Harry had drunk far too much and become morose and gloomy.

He stood outside the entrance to The George steeling himself to enter and play his part. The part that was becoming more and more difficult. His jealousy was becoming almost a living creature, it consumed him and permeated every aspect of his life. He found himself thinking of Ruth at the most inappropriate time, during meetings with the Home Secretary, during meetings of the J.I.C.

When his opposite number from Six had taken great pleasure in pointing out that Harry seemed to be _"in a world of his own" _and then speculated as to what the cause might be he knew that he had a problem but had no idea how he was going to deal with it. Maybe now that the blasted man was going to be out of the picture for six months he could try to …...Try to do what he asked himself, sweep her off her feet? Get her transferred to an other section? No he must keep her near him at all costs. He needed her presence on The Grid as much as he needed the air that he breathed.

And then as he pushed open the door and entered the welcoming warmth and cheer of the pub he allowed his mind to wander to the thought that had been occupying him since he'd heard the news that Logan had been posted to Afghanistan.

"_**It's a dangerous place. Anything can happen to anyone out there! Things can be made to happen out there!"**_


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

**Again not happy with this at all. It's really just a fill in that I felt was needed to get us on to the next part of the story. **

Ruth stumbled onto The Grid, wet, cold and thoroughly fed up. The weather outside was doing it's London in January thing. Freezing cold, biting wind and just to add a little extra, bloody driving rain, rain that managed to get down the back of your neck, and she didn't even want to contemplate how wet her feet were.

She was ready to bite the head of anyone she could find but the one she really wanted to vent her feelings on was Harry. He was the one who had sent her on a wild goose chase to the Home Office. She had the distinct impression that he had been if not punishing her, then showing her who was boss by insisting that she go.

"Don't even think about not going Ruth, they have asked for you by name. I don't normally take any notice of such requests but this is a sensitive time, we need them on our side. So you will go and you will go now."

She felt a gentle hand on her shoulder and turned to find Malcolm standing behind her

"You look cheesed off. Get those wet clothes off, change your shoes, why didn't you wear your boots? No don't answer that, just change and when you come back I'll have a nice hot cup of tea waiting for you and you can tell me all about it."

Fifteen minutes later she was sat at her desk nursing her mug and feeling a lot more human. Her trip to the Home Office had proved to be pointless. They had nothing to tell her she didn't all ready know , but mindful of Harry's words she had played along and tried to look interested and concerned whilst all the time her thoughts strayed to Hugh...

It had been four months since he had left for Afghanistan. She'd not accompanied him to R.A.F. Brize Norton to see him off, both of them felt that it would be better that they kept there goodbyes private. Ruth had been jumpy all that day and her friends on the grid had guessed why and tried to make her day as stress free as they could. Cups of tea, sandwiches and cake kept appearing on her desk and there was always someone near her if she wanted to talk. She had left early that night, not even telling Harry she was leaving, anxious to get home knowing that Hugh would have left her a message to tell her he had arrived safely.

And so the parameters of this new stage in their relationship were set. They spoke to each other via the internet and phone. And they wrote to each other every day, there was something so personal and intimate about holding a letter that Hugh had touched, it was a tangible connection to him and she treasured each and everyone she received. They became the anchor of her life, the things that made it possible to carry on. When they first started exchanging letters she had found them hard to decipher and she had pulled his leg unmercifully about the state of his handwriting. It was during one of their phone calls and he had laughed and told her that bad handwriting was one of the things that doctors excelled at, and that it was part of the mystic of the medical profession!

And of course she sent him parcels, Hugh told her how much getting things from home meant to him and all the other troops based out in Afghan so she endeavoured to make each parcel she sent as special as she could.

Each one always had to contain Marmite and Twiglets, Hugh was addicted to both. But she would also try to include something special, she sent him a small book of Persian love poems in one parcel, in another she included a 1923 copy of The Lancet that she'd found when she was rummaging around in a second hand book shop. And Hugh always made a point of telling her how much he enjoyed receiving her gifts and how much he cherished every special thing she sent him.

He told her all about the experiences he was having out there. How the trauma cases that he was dealing with were on a whole new level to what he had dealt with before and how he felt that they were making him a better doctor, a better man. How the sound of a helicopter sent the adrenalin pumping through his veins even when he knew they were not expecting any casualties. How despite his misgivings and qualms before he had arrived he was glad he was serving on the front line. And about how much he had to tell her when he got home.

She had been sitting, enjoying her tea and the chocolate digestive that had accompanied it when she noticed that the blinds to Harry's office were closed.

"Is he in his office?" she asked of no one in particular.

Danny looked up from his desk

"Yes, he's got visitors, some bods from the War Office I think . Anyway they were in uniform. Probably something to do with that threat to attack the Household Cavalry Barracks. I'm sure he'll fill us in at the next meeting." and with that he went back to the paperwork.

Ruth was a little put out, she wanted to bollock him while she was still in the mood to give him a real piece of her mind but she knew that if the blinds were drawn not even she would get away with barging in unannounced. And the longer she sat the calmer she would become.

Her hand went automatically to the long platinum chain that she wore around her neck, on this chain she wore her wedding ring. She had decided that she wouldn't tell anyone about her marriage to Hugh until he was back, safe and sound so they could impart the good news together. And as she stroked the chain she found herself being soothed by the gentle rhythm of her fingers and the feel of the cool metal.

Maybe giving Harry a piece of her mind was a pointless exercise.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

**I apologise for the delay in updating. An unexpected admission to hospital and the pain medication that I am now on have caused a bit of a hiatus. Hope that the following chapter is understandable! **

After seeing the men from the War Office safely off The Grid he returned to his office pausing only to shout at all those present in the office

"No bloody interruptions. Do you all understand that? No one is to knock on my door, all my calls will be transferred to you Adam. I don't want to hear from anyone unless Her Majesty is in danger or there is a direct and plausible threat to the immediate security of the country! Do you all understand?"

And with that he stormed into his office slamming the door with enough force to make the wall shudder in protest.

"Bloody Hell!" remarked Danny looking up from his computer "Who or what rattled his cage? I think I might find something to do elsewhere cos' when he finally comes out of his office I don't think, no I know I don't want to be here!"

And with that he picked up his coat and stepped into the nearest Pod.

Harry Pearce had poured himself a large measure of whisky taking a large sip before he sat down and picked up the envelope that languished on his desk. It looked so innocuous, just a plain white envelope with his name scrawled across it in appalling handwriting. With trembling fingers he carefully opened it, took the sheet of paper out of it and unfolded it as though it might explode at any minute. Taking another sip of his whisky, he spread the letter out and began to read it...

_Harry_

_Well if you are reading this things have gone really badly for me and I have (well there are so many synonyms I could use hear so pick your own!) _

_Anyway the upshot (no pun intended) is that I am dead and Ruth is on her own. I have decided Harry that I want you to break the news to her, not some faceless so and so from army welfare, she deserves better than that. She needs someone who cares for her, someone who will be willing to hold her if she needs it, will be willing to take the knocks when she rails against the injustice of it all, and that person is you Harry Pearce, because you love her. _

_Believe me Harry, she hasn't got a clue, she likes and admires you, maybe at one time she had a bit of a crush on you, but she has no idea how much you love and desire her. I know because I love her, I am in love with her so I spotted the signs. We men can always spot rivals for our ladies affections can't we?_

_Anyway Harry I am entrusting her to you because I am confident that you will stand by Ruth, will see her through this and if she sees fit will allow her to walk away from you when and if that is what she wants. I say this because I am positive that you love her enough to let her go._

_Oh and by now Harry I am sure that you are fully aware that Ruth and I were married before I left for Afghanistan so in all things that are arranged for my funeral she will be fully included as my widow. Make sure Harry that she is not ridden rough shod over. Make sure she gets what she wants for me._

_Make her happy if you can Harry. If that means a relationship with you all well and good, but if it means she finds someone else to care for and he cares for her let that happen. I know you love her enough to let her do that._

_Well after reading this you must be really pissed off with me, but just remember I am even more pissed off than you!_

_Hugh Logan._

Bloody, bloody man! That was all Harry Pearce could think as he read and re-read the letter.

He thought back over the last four months. He had been elated that Logan was out of the picture even if it was only temporarily, he had relished having Ruth back with him on the Grid alone at night when everyone else had left. He was selfishly glad that she had no where else to be, that she was as lonely as he was and that all she had was the work. He'd taken full advantage of the proximity and closeness that this state of affairs had bestowed on him. Not too often, in case it might make Ruth unsettled or spook her he'd persuaded her to share a drink with him in his office. After he had got away with that a couple of times he had upped the anti and invited her out to eat with him at a little bistro not far from Thames House.

"Come on Ruth please say yes. We both need to eat and all I've got in my fridge is a bit of sad ham and a couple of very unhappy mushrooms."

She'd laughed at his description of his fridge and agreed to his idea.

He of course had been delighted by the turn of events and had savoured every moment of the meal that they shared, he didn't even mind that she spent most of the time talking about Logan and how she missed him, about how grateful she was to everyone on the Grid for looking after her until he came home. In fact he'd sat fantasising that she was talking about him, Harry Pearce, a sad lonely old spook who had against his better judgement and a life time of experience, fallen deeply and utterly in love with this beautiful, talented, unobtainable younger woman. He was a damn fool but he could do nothing about it!

During his blackest moments he had allowed the darkest side of his nature to take charge and had contemplated the idea that had first popped into his mind when he heard that Hugh Logan was being posted to Camp Bastion. The idea that it was quite possible for him to call in favours and …...He never even to himself put the idea into concrete form, but it was there dancing around in the deepest recesses of his brain. Tantalising and taunting him. But the better part of himself was always there on his shoulder saying quietly and calmly**,**

**What if she finds out? You will lose everything, any slim chance that you might have with her. You will even lose her friendship.**

And so he had continued to watch her, to spend as much time with her as she would allow, to enjoy that time and to imagine how it would be to spend more time with her. To be allowed to court her, to let her see the real Harry Pearce. The Harry Pearce that had been buried so deeply by years of service, years of self sacrifice and self control. The Harry Pearce that longed to have someone to laugh with, someone who he could be himself with. Not the caricature that he felt, no knew he had become.

Now fate had given him the chance, but first he must destroy all of Ruth's hopes and dreams.

Sighing he picked up phone, dialled Adam's number

"In my office now Adam, no just you I have something to share with you and I would value your advice as to how I proceed."

**As I said hope this makes sense. I have read and re-read it and to my slightly addled, pain medication drugged mind it seems to! But hey what do I know!**


End file.
